I'm going through something similar with my own anti-communist immigrant parents right now, so I feel immense empathy for you. Thank you for having to courage to write all of this down!

I too find it difficult to both empathize with but form my own conclusions after hearing stories from the struggles of my parents' generations. But in the end, we are our own people formed from the products of our surrounding environments and we must forgive ourselves for not carrying forward the trauma of our ancestors.

PS: I believe it's important to educate yourself on both sides of an issue, especially if it's one as sore as this. That being said, your piece sounds more like you are exploring socialist philosophies rather than fully boarding the train? (my apologies if this is not intended)